- Emotional Unavailability: He Blows Hot & Cold – You become ‘The Pursuer’
- Seduction in Every Day Life: When your Date Plays "Hot and Cold"
- Men are a LOT like CATS… (this is bizarre, and true)
- Seduction in Every Day Life: When your Date Plays “Hot and Cold”
I will also blow cold when I sense you want something from me: You only know when you lean back. So do that first. The most common question asked in her popular Facebook group is how do I act, what do I say when he turns back on again. The answer is really to stop being so available. The term luring with honey is brought up often in this situation. How do I lure with honey? You just take his call or texts sweetly and warmly and then just have other plans. You lower your investment into him. We teach men how to treat us.
It just tells him you are the doormat that he can walk on when he feels like it. You allow it to happen over and over and he has no reason to step it up. How do you treat people and things you treasure? Take him off that mental pedestal in your mind and get yourself a rotation going. A rotation is when you start dating other men. The relief they feel when he turns back on when he has been off is like a high!
You feel so bad when he is cold, then he brings you instant relief when he is hot. You get to where you crave the relief. When these hot and cold men go absent, our imagination tends to go into overtime thinking and analyzing. We remember all the good warm fun times and try to justify his behavior. I mean how could he not care after that fantastic night last weekend?
Emotional Unavailability: He Blows Hot & Cold – You become ‘The Pursuer’
I think women fall in love in their heads when he vanishes or when he pulls away. This is exactly why you must downgrade these hot and cold men. This post made me cry when I read it. He will just ignore me for days — not call, not answer my text or answer it very shortly and coldly. IIf you were to marry this guy…. If you treated him this way….. You are settling for less than you deserve!
Seduction in Every Day Life: When your Date Plays "Hot and Cold"
I broke boundaries such as letting him be around my kids after a few weeks instead of months. Then suddenly he withdrew the sexual aspect. I suspect now , that this was a control tactic bcuz i was obviously just in it for the good time. He had a host of seemingly fab reasons for this, all of which added up to wanting MORE than just sex with me. Just keeping me in limbo i guess.
Very nice and polite. The book is Waaaaay better than the movie and every woman should read it. It will help you set boundaries at the very least. I was reading this post and started to just think back in my own situation and how all of the signs were clear and steer right in front of me. His possessiveness; clingyness; and his non stop phone calls to me everyday all day in the beginning of our year relationship.
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- The Date who Blows “Hot and Cold”.
Him making excuses for not seeing his kids and that his ex wife was keeping them from him. What was I thinking? Feels good to finally be FREE!!
Men are a LOT like CATS… (this is bizarre, and true)
His sheets were off his bed that day too. Wow…after reading this blog I have no hope for the future.
The men I have been involved with in the past have been like this. The games they play are serious and heartbreaking. I have to say one thing, I thought I was alone but i guess not. Good luck to all you ladies.. I hope we each find a good one…. I think men blow hot and cold because its just what they do. Not all of them. Sounds like you are just in the beginning of a relationship that seems to be going or getting nowhere. I would quit all the chit chase unless you want to keep going on for years…. I think all of us women on this site need each others support so just offering mine.
Seriously, why are men like this? Two years of my life I have spend either trying to get my ex back or trying to forget him. Then hope came and all he did was mess me up all over again. I have loved him unconditionally and he was keeping all of his options open. In the end, just a couple of months ago I begged him to let me go. Almost 3 months passed and on a lonely sunday he texted me. He first he said: Would you like to hear it? Or did you decide that is already over between us? I texted him that I was curious to know what he wanted to say.
He said that those last words of mine made him think and he wanted to invest in us and if I wanted the same. I told him that I wanted that too. So he asked me to meet. We met a weak later and we talked about everything that we did wrong and why he kept leaving me and coming back to me. Now we have to wait for my parents to return from a long vacation and I am getting more and more anxious.
I caught my self thinking of him changing his mind every minute of the day. These are all signs your seeing an immature asshole! Yes, there are SO MANY good songs mostly written by women about EUMs, which brings home the fact that these men have been around for centuries and have messed women up enough so that they channel their frustrations and anger into writing songs about it. Alanis Morissette is another good song writer about EUMs. Annied, I did the same thing you described. One more time for me and I did say very directly, What exactly is it that you want from me?
I want you to be in my life forever. And that means what? Thought it was fine. I let it simmer in my head for a while and then I got more and more not angry really , but disgusted. You can do it. Him and I were together years ago and started talking again last spring. I had no intentions or interest in getting back together for the longest time. We slept together a couple of times.
He ran hot and cold with me.
Seduction in Every Day Life: When your Date Plays “Hot and Cold”
All the while living with this girl. And he gave me every indication that this was his thinking, too. IN my mind it was just a matter of timing. I believed he was plotting his escape from her and just trying to do it in the best possible way. In my mind, how could she not find out. Him and I were going to be together and then it would be no secret. I asked if that all he ever wants. And I am now disgusted by the whole thing and acutely aware of how disrespected I have been.
Through the course of these two months I was luck enough to find this site and read all the stories. I ran hot and cold with the stories.
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- The Dating Game of Hot and Cold | HuffPost?
Sometimes I would feel so connected to them. Other times I would kid myself and justify how MY relationship was different. I know I deserve better. Laura, I know it is very hard. I am so glad I found this website. I just recently end a relationship with a EUM.